


go thee and do likewise

by fardareismai



Series: Imagine Claire and Jamie (Prompts from the blog that I have fulfilled) [9]
Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: F/M, Gen, Missing Scene, Outlander missing scene, wedding night advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-27
Updated: 2015-10-27
Packaged: 2018-04-28 09:00:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5085874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fardareismai/pseuds/fardareismai
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine the advice (good and bad) Murtagh, Ned, and Rupert gave Jamie on his husbandly duties before the wedding.</p>
<p>Imagine the scene where Rupert, Ned, and murtaugh give Jamie advice for the wedding night</p>
            </blockquote>





	go thee and do likewise

Rupert cornered him in the stables where he had gone to cool off after his argument with Dougal.

“ **Och, if it isna the blushing bridegroom,** ” he boomed out, causing the horse that Jamie was brushing to blow and stamp, just barely missing Jamie’s toes.  


“ **Good e’en, Rupert,** ” Jamie said through clenched teeth.  The last thing he cared for was to be chaffed for his ‘maidenly’ status, particularly after the shocked look Claire had given him when he’d told her.  


Rupert, no great reader of the subtleties of voice and tone, leaned against the stall and watched as Jamie continued his work.

“ **You’ve good hands, lad,** ” Rupert said, in a lower, more serious voice.  “ **That’ll serve you well, I think.** ”  


“ **Oh aye?** ” Jamie said, shortly.  He was waiting for the jest that he was sure was coming.  


“ **Aye.  The lasses, they’re different from us, you ken?  A lad- especially a lad of three-and-twenty, eh?- a lad needs nothing more than a suggestion to be ready.  All a pretty lass need do is flutter her lashes at him and he’s a cockstand.** ”  Rupert gave him a lewd wink at this, but Jamie could tell that there was honest intent behind the words.  


“ **A lass is different though.  You must pet her and kiss her and be gentle with her to rouse her.  You can hurt her, you ken?  And I dinna think you want to do that.  Not to your Claire.** ”  Rupert’s face, which had been unusually serious for him, suddenly broke into a grin.  “ **Nay, not to yon sassenach.  There are lasses as are kind and biddable.  My own wife was that way- sweet and mild as honeyed milk- and if I’d hurt her, she’d n’er have said a word.  I dinna think your Mistress Beauchamp would be the same though, lad!** ”  


Jamie snorted a laugh.  Claire?  Keep silent about anything that annoyed her?  He thought not, somehow.

Rupert clapped him on the back and leaned in close, as though to impart a final piece of secret lore.  “ **Suckle her bubbies like a bairn,** ” he said, voice low.  “ **The lasses like that.** ”

Jamie narrowly refrained from rolling his eyes.  Rupert’s visitation in the stable had, apparently, given permission to the rest of the men to give him advice on how to behave in his marital bed.

Some of the advice had been well-meaning if foolish.

_Just let nature take its course._

_Dinna hurt her, eh?_

_Go canny_.

Some advice had been borderline offensive.

_Och, that lass kens what she’s about, you’ll have nothing to fear, Jamie m’lad._

_If she doesna do as you like, slap her across the face and she willna do it again._

Some had been downright bewildering.

_Have her stick her finger up your bunghole._

At least, however, each piece of advice had been offered by a man who had, at least at some point in his life, been married.

Now he found himself seated between Murtagh and Ned, both confirmed bachelors, but both giving him bizarre and fairly contradictory advice on the proper behaviour with his wife.

“ **Women do not, as a rule, like it,** ” Murtagh was saying, glaring at him across the table in the tavern.  “ **Be quick about your business and let her alone after.** ”  


“ **Now that’s not universally true,** ” Ned said.  “ **There are women who do enjoy-** ”  


“ **Fairy tales,** ” Murtagh cut him off.  “ **Women dinna enjoy it, so you must finish quick and no bother her further.** ”  


Ned huffed out a breath.  “ **If, by chance, Mistress Beauchamp is one of those unusual women who does enjoy being taken to bed, there are some options for you.** ”

Murtagh made a noise deep in his throat, as though to deny that such a thing existed, but Ned ignored him and continued.

“ **I once had a lady-** ”  


“ **A whore,** ” Murtagh supplied, and Ned shot him a dirty look.  


“ **A _woman_ who took my cock into her mouth.  It was a rather remarkable experience.**”  


Murtagh snorted again.  “ **And there are whores’ll let you bugger ‘em for the right price.  That doesna mean they like it.** ”  He turned his black-eyed glare on Jamie.  “ **Your Claire is no whore Jamie m’lad, and while you must do what you must do to keep her safe, you’ll no bother her unwilling, or I’ll know why.** ”

And with that threat, Murtagh was away from the table.

Ned sighed, but he stood as well, clapping Jamie on the shoulder as he went.  “ **You will not mistreat her,** ” Ned said, and while it was a statement of fact, it was also a warning.  “ **Not least because I hardly think she’s the sort of woman to allow you to do so!** ”


End file.
